When to say no
Weathering storms, finding enthusiasm, and building airplanes
Small talk
I always write this little small talk section the day before I publish my posts. Normally I like to keep it light and playful, but I can’t seem to tap into that this week. I feel heavy and sad and mad. I would normally send you a virtual hug, but I don’t even feel like hugging. So maybe today we can sit at the table and feel however we feel. We don’t have to say anything or do anything. Just sit here together. I figure if I need a moment like this, maybe you need it too.
Book bite
In THE LONGEST STORM, a family is forced to navigate the challenges of staying indoors. Dan Yaccarino’s refreshing take on being stuck inside having “nothing to do, and too much time to do it,” and getting annoyed with the people you love (sound familiar anyone?) will make you feel less alone in your pandemic ups and downs. I loved the graphic illustrations and the limited color palette. Read my full review here.
Creative nugget
I really struggle to say no.
Sometimes this serves me well. I’m open to trying new things. I embrace change. I have a lot of great experiences.
But sometimes this creates problems. I work too hard for too long. I double-book myself. I struggle under the weight of other people’s expectations.
I’m trying to learn when to say no. So far I’ve figured out that I need to say no when:
I don’t want to do something. This sounds so simple, but sometimes this is the hardest one because I often feel like “not wanting to” is NOT a good enough reason. It is.
I don’t feel enthusiastic enough about it. I got this idea from agent rejections. An agent wants to represent creators for a CAREER, not just a book, so they have to have career-level enthusiasm for someone’s work. That’s why their rejections often say, “I wasn't enthusiastic enough about [insert reason here].” I often feel enthusiastic about everything, so now I try to evaluate my work like an agent. Do I love it enough? If the answer is no, I should say no.
I don’t have enough time or energy. Even though I know this is true, I’m not very good at evaluating my own time and energy. The trick to this one is knowing your limitations. Am I good at it? No. But I’m still working on it. That’s what counts.
What helps you know when to say no? Help a girl out by sharing your wisdom in the comments. Oh boy, do I need it!
Bring your own juice box
B.Y.O.J.B. is that special kid table moment when you trade your dad’s famous chocolate chip cookies for your favorite fruit snacks.
This week I’m trading a substack newsletter l love called Adam’s Notes. Adam Ming is an amazing children’s book illustrator who offers daily bitesize principles that you can apply to your creative practice right now. I definitely recommend checking it out here.
Wanna trade? Share something you love!
Brownie points
Watch me build a plane and launch it off my balcony.
(Building instructions here)
Watch my illustration process video here.
Guess who’s wearing these heels on Instagram and Twitter.
The clue is: Someone related to Peter. I’ll reveal the answer tomorrow!
Is anyone missing from the table today? Invite them to the creative feast!
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll save you a spot next week AT THE KID TABLE.
See you then,
Rachel
I don’t have any advice to add, only that I have a hard time saying no also. It’s hard to ignore that nagging FOMO!
Oof! I have a hard time saying no too. I’m a huge people pleaser, and I love going the extra mile, but it often ends up with me feeling burnt out and resentful.
Last week, when I was talking with my therapist, he gave me the suggestion to analyze what my values are and then make my decisions based on whether or not something fits in my top 3-5 values. I’ve been trying that and it has been eye opening.