Oh hi there!
I just want to say thanks for all the support you showed me for the HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS (THE RIGHT WAY) cover reveal last week. Today I’m revealing the answers to the two truths and a lie poll and sharing my super embarrassing pee pants story!
That time I peed my pants (one of the most kid table vibes there is)
Alright so last week I told you all about my debut cover and outlined the process of making it and we played two truths and a lie. Wanna see how you did?
Here are the options:
Bertie the bird’s glasses were based on the glasses I wore as a kid.
I peed my pants in the middle of class in first grade.
After I peed my pants, I had to wait in the office for my mom to bring me clean clothes and, before I could sit down, the office lady bubble-wrapped the chair.
TRUE: Bertie the bird’s glasses were based on the glasses I wore as a kid.
This is me.
This is the cover.
You wanna know the crazy thing? It was completely subconscious. Only when a critique partner said after seeing my kid photo, “Oh, now I understand why you put glasses on your characters” did I see it.
One of those moments when a dear friend understands you more than you understand yourself.
FALSE: I peed my pants in the middle of class in first grade.
Keep reading to see where…
TRUE: After I peed my pants, I had to wait in the office for my mom to bring me clean clothes and, before I could sit down, the office lady bubble-wrapped the chair.
And now for the SUPER EMBARRASSING pee my pants story to set the record straight.
THE MOMENT
It was first grade and I was an expert bladder controller. (Basically I had the equivalent expertise of air traffic controllers but with controlling my bladder.) This was because I was terrified that if I went to the bathroom during lunch, I wouldn’t be able to find my friends since the playground was so big.
So I would hold it. And hold it.
I was very good at holding it.
Hi, this is psychologist Rachel coming in to analyze things in the middle of a story because I can’t shut my brain off.
Did you catch the glaring abandonment issues here? Yes, they would take years of therapy to unravel, but I wanted to come in and ease your mind that NOW Rachel can successfully walk through a playground alone. Though she doesn’t do it often just in case it looks creepy. Okay, let’s continue.
Even the best bladder traffic controllers are human.
Unfortunately my moment arrived during recess when I was standing in a circle of friends. It was basically set up like a Shakespeare play at the globe theater — every seat in the house had a great view to the show. And the show was me.
I still remember the moment the dam broke.
I audibly said, “Uh. Oh.” — like I was in slow motion — emphasizing each syllable so that those who might have been looking at the sky or observing a bird on a tree wouldn’t miss the big event.
I remember mouths dropping open.
I remember the sound of the whistle to line up after recess.
I remember being afraid everyone would see as I lined up.
Somehow I had the sense to sneak away to the front office to call my mom. Because she worked full-time, I needed to wait for some clean clothes.
As I started sitting down on the office chair, I heard, “NOOO! STOP!”
It felt like a gust of winter wind had frozen my wet pants into place.
I watched in shame as the office lady pulled out a large roll of bubble wrap. She wrapped the chair many times, secured it with tape, and then said, “NOW you can sit.”
Alright, that’s it. I’m just going to leave you there with those emotions;)
“Umm…hi, this is psychologist Rachel interrupting yet again to say that Rachel doesn’t really like things left unresolved, often to a fault, so she would never ‘leave you hanging’ as the kids say.”
Ugh, get out of here psychologist Rachel!
But yeah, she’s right.
It took a long time for me to be able to talk about that experience with people. Until I had a sleepover with a bunch of friends years later and one girl laughed so hard, she peed her pants. Soon all of us were telling our pee pants stories and laughing with each other. With every laugh, the shame melted away.
Fast forward to a few years ago when I had an epiphany. Maybe I could channel the laugh-with-ourselves energy into a story inspired by my own embarrassing moment. Maybe I could turn something sad into something funny. Maybe I could write the book I wish I had when I peed my pants.
HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS (THE RIGHT WAY) is that book.
I hope it brings that “laugh with ourselves” energy into your home. I hope it dissipates the shame. I hope it reminds you that you are never as alone as you think.
If you or someone you know would like some “laugh with ourselves” energy, my book is available for preorder now!
Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE today.
Until next time! I’ll save you a seat right by me.
Your potty-dancing-her-way-through-life friend,
Rachel
My debut cover reveal (part two)