Tricks to face the holidays (and the blank page)

Embracing dead opossum mode and learning to receive

Why hello there!

Guess who was sick for the last THREE STINKING WEEKS. (Good guess.)

I had an amazing book tour (which I promise to finish telling you about very soon) and then I crashed like a college student after finals.

But guess who is finally stinking healthy. (Wow, two for two. Look at you winning the day!)

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Now here I am…poking your arm for attention during a time when your attention is being stretched to its limits. Why on earth would I do this? Well, the holidays are a bit of a struggle for me (which is always hard to admit because I also love them), and I wanted to reach out just in case the holidays are a bit of a struggle for you too.

And so, like Santa breaking into your house from the rooftop, I’m arriving in your inbox with a bag full of goodies. We’ll start with a few tricks I’ve been using to face the holidays this year. And end with a few tricks to face the blank page for the creative people currently fighting for their lives against hibernation mode.

How I would like to be greeted from now on.

Here. We. Go. Ho. Ho. Ho.

Some tricks I’m using to face the holidays

I’ve always loved the idea of the holidays. I go into them with high hopes for celebration and cheer. But no matter what adult me does, my inner child learned to expect that holidays were tumultuous times of unease and chaos. And she gets anxious, man.

My inner child during the holidays.

I’m trying to take better care of her this year, and here are a few things that have worked lately.

1. Embracing my dead opossum mode

Frankly, this whole year I’ve felt like a dead opossum. Slower. Lacking energy. Struggling to do the dishes. As someone who was trained from an early age to believe that my value comes from my accomplishments, this new state of being has been hard to accept. Even when I try, my mind does not easily compute concepts like relaxation, leisure, pleasure, or self care.

Me pretty much all the time

The first half of the year, I tried to force myself out of dead opossum mode. This wasn’t a great idea and didn’t work, so I had to pivot.

It was time to embrace my inner dead opossum with love and care. Gross!

This meant coziness. Fuzzy socks. Blankets. Sweaters. Movies. And most importantly, NO HEAPING SIDE OF GUILT.

If only there’s a way to trick my brain into thinking that watching movies is a “productive” use of time to get a momentary break from the internalized shame…Oh wait, there is! And it’s in my bookshelf!

I talked about this awesome book in a previous post, but I wanted to share it again just in case you need a good Christmas or holiday gift.

HEY KIDS, WATCH THIS! is a beautiful book full of amazing movies—curated by the cool kids over at A24—that are great for the whole family. AND they even give you a space to track what you watched. This means that your brain can take a chill pill by checking movies off a list while your dead opossum lives its best life lounging on the couch.

Ooh, and speaking of cozy movie nights and good gifts, if you want to feel like a COOL dead opossum rather than a normal one, grab an A24 aspect ratio blanket. Just in case you need proof of coziness, please enjoy this montage of me living my best dead opossum life in my living room.

Step one: Pick the movie.

Step two: Suit up.

Step three: Get cozy.

Epilogue: Stand up (but only if you have to).

2. Paying attention to the details

While I was dead opossuming one day, I rewatched MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON. Oh boy, I had forgotten just how much that little guy reaches into the heart and out the tear ducts!

What stood out to me the most was the movie’s specificity. Marcel’s adventures include hang gliding from a Dorito, dragging a pet lint around, and unwinding from stress by burrowing himself in the garden. Isn’t it incredible how those details are so small but they make his world feel so big?

I’m learning that paying attention to the details of my own life makes it feel bigger and more meaningful, too. Like:

• Lighting a fancy candle at the dinner table with Aaron and my dog Annie (she is technically under the table but I think she still enjoys the vibe)

• Putting together an outfit that feels very me

• Decorating the house — even in small ways — to create a mood

One of my latest decorations is a reminder that small details make an expansive world.

Isn’t he cute?

I keep mine by my desk, but I’m thinking of getting another figurine or the pin as a stocking stuffer!

3. Focusing on connection

When the focus of the holidays is BE HAPPY or MERRY or BRIGHT, I spend the whole time in an existential crisis. “Am I happy enough? How about now? I should be more happy than this. What is happiness anyway?”

But when my goal is CONNECTION, it goes a lot better. I ask more helpful-to-myself questions like:

• How can I give my time and energy (even if it’s small) to connect with someone?

• How can I open myself to receive love and connection from others?

The second one has historically been THE HARDEST for me. I’m much more comfortable giving time and energy than receiving it. But I’ve been working on it, and over the past few months, I’ve been overwhelmed in a good way with all the connecting moments I’ve received.

Like this was one of the magical events on my book tour — after I read my book HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS: THE RIGHT WAY aloud, one kid buddy in the front row asked very seriously, “Why is it funny?” Got right to the heart of why I made the book in the first place!

Another connecting moment was my SCBWI workshop in Utah where we brainstormed ways to get unstuck creatively. The suggestions were so good, I wanted to share them with you here.

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Trade-sies!

Now it’s your turn. It’s that special kid table moment when you trade your dad’s famous chocolate chip cookies for your favorite fruit snacks.

Do you have any tricks to face the holidays or the blank page?

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I’ve learned so much about craft, creativity, and connection this year, and I will share even more of it with you when I can. But as I’m a dead opossum with limited energy, for now, I just want to say THANK YOU.

Thank you to the friends and family who have showed up for me this year.

Thank you to all those who have read and shared HOW TO PEE YOUR PANTS: THE RIGHT WAY.

And thank you for sitting at the kid table with me.

Until next year!

Your cozy-cool-dead-opossuming friend,

Rachel