It's hard to say goodbye

Bye Bye Bay Area, hello Oregon!

Oh hi there!

Fancy seeing you here. I hope you are doing well. Our last week in the Bay Area has come to an end. While here, I’ve gotten to connect with so many amazing people and saying goodbye has put me in a pondering mood.

WARNING: this post might induce heart pitter-patters due to ponderful gooey goodness. It may also cause strong eyerolls and smirks due to the silly bits in between (because I cannot help myself).

Note: The post might get cut off in your email due to lots of photos so you may want to read it in your browser instead. The links I included in this post will take you to the newsletters and/or websites of some amazing authors and illustrators. I recommend subscribing/following and buying their books if you can.

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Some of you may remember that about a year ago, I decided to focus on the word connection. Connecting with myself, my work, and others. It has been a wonderful and surprising experiment.

A GIANT unexpected fruit of this experiment was finding so many people who understand me and I understand them. I’ve always been a bit of an oddball and struggled with friends (which I wrote about in detail here):

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I tried really hard to connect with others. And a lot of times it didn’t work out very well. But then a few years ago, I prioritized listening to myself first. What do I want? How do I want to spend my days? These questions were a BIG turning point in my life.

Around that time, I met my besties with testes. They are some of the most hilarious people you’ll ever meet.

As I listened to myself, I discovered I wanted to write children’s books. And I took the scary leap into illustrating them as well. Through rejections and discouraging words and self doubts, I focused on the part of myself who felt she was on the right path. The more I learned to turn inward and trust myself, the more things fell into place.

Like meeting the kind of people who will make and wear friendship shirts (shout out to Tony Tong and Jessica Haster and the Crappens team)

Eventually I put together a portfolio of stories and art, connected with my wonderful agent Lindsay Auld, and we sold some books!

Though I am THRILLED about all that, what really makes me happy is connection. Books just happen to be one of my favorite ways to connect.

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Along the way, I decided that I would invest both time and $$ into connection.

This year, I invested in a Martha Brockenbrough writing retreat (highly recommend). I learned a lot, laughed a lot, and hung out with the wonderful Lisl, Joanna, Angele, and Natasha.

I also forced myself to be an initiator. It can be scary reaching out to people. What if you get rejected? What if they don’t like you? What if, what if, what if?

More like what if not?! (Hint: I wouldn’t have met the lovely and talented Bo Lu and Isabella Kung)

What gets me through the “what ifs” is the knowledge that if I don’t try, I’ll miss out on fulfilling experiences. I won’t grow. And growth is a big part of creativity and connection and just being happy in general.

You know who spreads happiness to everyone around her? Author and friend extraordinaire Angela Pham Krans, that’s who.

Along the way, I learned that others will reach out and reciprocate.

Talented illustrator Kaly Quarles is a great example of creating a sense of community. She’s a rockstar!

When I go on trips for “practical” reasons (like my husband’s pharmacy conference), I should definitely reach out to kidlit friends because they make trips 1000% better.

Like Celia Krampien and Monica Arnaldo who are so talented and kind and delightful. (Unfortunately they were crushed by a hanging motorcycle during this trip but they seem happy about it.)

Sometimes I can be lazy and not do anything to make friends because my BFF will make me a new one.

Like look at this wonderful human being Emily brought into the world!

While I’ve been here in the Bay Area, I had to balance social time, adventure time, and work time, so I wasn’t able to see everyone. But I’ve gotten to chat with so many amazing people and my heart feels full.

Some other talented peeps I got to meet in person here (most not pictured): Sophie Diao, Eugenia Yoh, Mike Jung, and Taylor Sterling. Check out their work!

Okay, now that I’ve annoyed you with photos, we’re finally at the point of the post…

If you, like me, ever struggle to make friends or feel connected, please know you aren’t alone. There is hope!

When you are ready, I hope you’ll take the first scary step and reach out to someone. Some people might not be in a place to make friends (and trust me, I’ve experienced some of that during my experiment too). But if you persist, the friends you’ll find are worth it.

In conclusion, how did the connection experiment go? Was all of the investment of time and money worth it?

Well…what do you think? ;)

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Thanks for sitting with me AT THE KID TABLE. As always, I’ll save you a seat for next time.

Your feeling-grateful-for-her-adventure-while-hoping-she-didn’t-hit-you-about-the-head-with-gratitude-too-hard friend,

Rachel